“On Pain and Perfection” by Dr. Jonathen K.

Posted on June 13, 2016 by eslkevin

Perfectionism is an admirable trait if kept under control. If not – it’s amazingly powerful tool to prolong chronic pain.

In my experience, perfectionistic people are utterly trustworthy. They’re the kind of people who you would love to have working for you as they always do their job 120%.

Except the problem is: what is happening inside the person’s head while they’re busy doing a job better than anyone else?

In my experience, when you go back to childhood, that person was praised by someone in authority – usually a parent or teacher – for doing a job really well. They felt really good about themselves.

The next part is the key.

They then put the two together – like this: doing a good job = being a good person.

This then became a powerful pattern in their life.

All the time up until the present, this person has a small voice inside them, urging them to do the best job possible – or they are no longer ‘a good person.’

How does this feed chronic pain?

For a perfectionist, there is a continual feeling of not being good enough. (After all, perfection is an impossible goal.) They continually push themselves and won’t rest until they achieve their incredibly high standard.

And little by little, over time, the added stress takes a toll on their system, pushing them closer to the cliff edge that is chronic pain. If someone who is a perfectionist already has chronic pain they won’t cut themselves some slack and take the proverbial ‘easy’ route – because doing this goes against the very fibre of their being.

The fundamental principle is this: perfectionists are often concerned about what others think. They believe others are judging them by a harsh standard. And in turn, they apply an even harsher standard to judge themselves.

If you recognise any perfectionistic traits in yourself, the key to breaking the cycle is first:

  1. Recognise what is happening. This is a HUGE step and often half the battle
  2. Experiment. Experimenting means letting go – just a little – of your firmly held convictions and the hunt for perfection.

See what happens if you stop half way through a task, rest, and continue it later. What happens if you are a little late to work? Experiment with stretching your rules – just a little – and observe that the world does not come crashing down around you.

Perfectionism can be a huge driver of chronic pain because the relentless pressure you put on yourself gives you no respite. And your drive to do a job perfectly causes you to push yourself – even when you’d be better off pacing and going slowly through your tasks.

Any thoughts or comments? I’d love to here them here on the site >>

– Jonathan

12 Beach Road Papakura, Auckland 2113 New Zealand 0064 92993253

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About eslkevin

I am a peace educator who has taken time to teach and work in countries such as the USA, Germany, Japan, Nicaragua, Mexico, the UAE, Kuwait, Oman over the past 4 decades.
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